Are You Authentic?

Being Authentic

I may not be original but I am always authentic.  Since the inception of this blog, I have aspired to have an authentic voice.  I want this blog to be a vehicle to express my feelings, my hopes and my dreams.  I want to dig deep and express my uniqueness, and inspire others to find their authenticity.  This post actually was inspired by a survey that Khloe Kardashian had taken and posted on her blog.   I was surprised by the authenticity of her answers, and it roused a desire for me to do the same.  I hope thatI can, in turn, inspire others to take this survey and reveal what makes them authentic.

authenticity and fat shaming



When I was little and all my friends would be in their bathing suits at the beach or pool parties or at summer camp, I would always be the chubby one. I never felt comfortable. I was the one who always wore shorts over her bathing suite, so self conscious about my thighs.

I was always chubby as a child,  but it got worse after I went through puberty at age 12.  There was one incident I remember vividly when a sale woman really hurt my self esteem.  I was trying on a dress, she shook her head and said “such a shame you have a pretty face, but  you need to lose weight.”  People can be so cruel.  From that point on, I felt as if my whole worth depended on my weight.  I hated to look at myself in the mirror.  I was so afraid to talk to boys for fear of them making fun of  my weight.



In all honesty, my childhood dream was to be a doctor, I always wanted to help people.  I was always fascinated by the human body.  I saw how people looked up to doctors and I thought maybe if I became a doctor people would be nicer to me.





If you ever watched the Breakfast Club, I was Ally Sheedy’s character.  I was the basket case.   I was the one that was always hiding in the back ground.  The one that did not have any friends.  The one that felt left out, and who just didn’t seem to fit in.

High school was an extremely hard time for me.  I didn’t even go to my senior prom and I was picked upon and  bullied.  If I could go back in time, and talk to my younger self, I would tell her to stop worrying about what other people think of you.  I would tell her to go and ask Mr. Popular to prom and don’t worry if he says no.  I would tell her to smile more and cry less.  And that in the end the suffering will be worth it.


authenticity and my family


I am definitely not that young impressionable girl anymore.  I have grown up and gained the confidence that I so desperately lacked in high school.  I am no longer that basket case. I am many things now! In my family, I think I’m the Glue, but I can also be a Pushover—especially when it comes to my two boys.  I can also be an athlete, which I would not have used to describe myself in high school.  I can also be a bit of a Social Butterfly now, believe it or not!

But most of all I am ME, and proud of it!


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17 thoughts on “Are You Authentic?

  1. Clicking over from Running With Spoons 🙂
    Authenticity is so important. In life, of course, but in blogging too. It was when I said “screw it, I’m being myself!” that I truly began to enjoy blogging.
    I’m so sorry you went through such a tough time in childhood/high school. People can just be cruel, plain and simple.

  2. … I honestly can’t believe what that sales woman said to you! That just breaks my heart 🙁 But I can definitely relate to being all sorts of impressionable and insecure in my youth, which is one of the reasons that I’d never want to go back and relive those years if I had a chance to. I enjoy the self-confidence and “just not giving a damn” that comes with age 🙂
    Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…hitting a million, dehydration, and questioning the species hierarchy (ToL#171)My Profile

  3. I LOVE that you are always authentic. Truth is one of the most important things to me and something that I have to remember every time I write a post. I never want to paint a picture of something I’m not, and that is why I love each blog I follow. It really seems like they are real about their lives.
    Emily recently posted…Recovery Series VI: Despair to HOPEMy Profile

    1. Thanks Emily. As i told my husband once, life is to short for all the BS. If I am going to devote some of my precious time with someone I want to really get to know them.

  4. We had some similar issues as young people.
    I still won’t wear a bathing suit… I can’t say I am 100% over my image issues, but I am getting so old it does not matter anymore lol but i am still not comfortable.
    I didn’t go to hardly an HS, sometimes I feel like i got stuck emotionally because so much went on during that period in my life. I was 30 before I started to get it together.
    You over came very well! Probably one the hardest things you can accomplish in life is becoming a Doctor 🙂

    1. Thank you Karen, the more I open up in this blog, the more I realize, how many people have faced the same battles that I have. I hope someday I can help teenage girls that felt the same way I did. That’s when I will know I truly made a difference in the world.

    1. I agree Wendy, the only way to live life is to be authentic, and the people that make fun of you are the ones that are way to scared to be authentic themselves. They also are the ones that are not worth your time. Thanks for reading

  5. I really wish I could be 100% authentic on my blog and in my life. But it’s not always super easy. I come from a SUPER conservative culture/background and out of respect for my parents and family I have to live a very filtered and edited version of myself publicly. It’s not really as bad as it sounds 😉

  6. Beautifully articulated Nicole. There are so many inauthentic people out there, it seems. So much insecurity that manifests in smoke and mirrors and manipulation. I see it all over social media. In high school I was far away from the “in” group. I was immersed in my sports. It was good there.
    Marcia recently posted…Weird Stuff at the Gym and a GiveawayMy Profile

  7. Nicole, this resonates with me. I was not chubby as a child, but as soon as I went through puberty, I hated my appearance. I hated the curves and I always felt like people noticed my boobs and fat thighs. I was bullied in middle school and my parents sent me to a Christian school for Junior High which did nothing for me. I never felt like I fit in. High school was “ok” but I kept my nose to the books because I so did not want to be noticed. I did not want to be a target of anyone’s hatred. I was never so happy to be out of school.
    Tracey @Tracey’s Getting Fit recently posted…FOCUSMy Profile

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